Let's talk about my weight. I never really felt super comfortable about that, but I didn't let it rule over me either. In fact, looking back at pictures from college:
Look at us babies!!!!
After Elliott was born, I would nurse him at night standing up and almost walking the room, it was easy, he was small and it seemed to work to get him back to sleep. My mirror was in that path. I spent a lot of time thinking "I am super mom, look at what I can do for this baby and stretch marks? who cares?" "flames of creation" as my friend calls them :) But I also spent a lot of time dwelling on how I really looked and more importantly how I really felt. I felt like I always had to hide in a certain type of clothes that made me feel comfortable enough in my won skin. I felt tired. I felt unhealthy. And I felt sad about thinking there was no way I was ever going to change that if I hadn't yet. I had even gotten rid of any clothes I had been hanging onto "just in case they fit" again one day. And one night something snapped and I felt tired of feeling that way. Over the next 6 months I changed my eating habits. I would like to say I also started "working out" but not really. Let's face it, I hate it. I am not a working out kind of person. But I do like to dance, so I did Zumba type things on YouTube, fun stuff! Long story short, I lost 30 pounds in 6 months and overall have adopted a lifestyle of eating habits that, even on my worst day now are better than my every day then.
Which brings me to my breakfast this morning (and my taco bell last night)
That's right.... star wars cereal. I asked my mom to pick us up "fun cereal" for the impending snow weekend. And this is what she got. Oliver loves it so it was worth every non nutritional gram of nothing that is in this box!
By my scale, and how I've been weighing myself for the last year, I've only gained about 5 pounds, which puts me at 132, still such a healthy weight for me. The doctors office has it at more because I've been weighed on three different scales with jeans and shoes on. Anyway, how is it possible that I feel worse than I ever did before and I've only gained 5 pounds. Goodness gracious! I told Nate I was just eating poorly and getting fat, because that's how it feels! Is that how it's supposed to feel when you start off pregnancy healthy???? I don't care for it! Of course he actually said just the right thing back, he said that from how I started there was no way that eating just some different from how I was and only gaining 5 pounds was me just being fat and that he could tell I looked more "baby-ish" this week. Awww, he can be so sweet sometimes! keyword there being sometimes ;) But that doesn't stop me from just feeling otherwise! So I went to our local consignment store to get Oliver snow pants and decided it was worth the money to get a few long sleeved maternity shirts. Oh boy can they make a difference! Just wearing one last night made me feel so much better.... worth the buy. I know I'll still wear whatever I want around the house, but for going out purposes it changes everything, so helpful hint if you ever find yourself feeling like this, buy a few legitimate maternity shirts. Don't break your bank, but don't just settle for "bigger" shirts, actually get a few with those scrunched up sides that are longer and say "maternity" on them :) Changes everything!
So I guess according to Nate, that's this week's news.... 14 weeks... is that I look more like I'm having a baby... But it's been a distracting week. This coming month is Babies R Us baby gear trade in and I am trying to decide what to do about needing to fit three car seats in my car. It won't be logistically reasonable for us to trade in my car any time soon, and I'm all for the cheapest thing is the thing you already have. So I'm thinking about getting slightly more expensive, but slimmer car seats for the boys that should allow three across my back seat, but wasn't quite prepared to do that this month, though with the discount the trade in offers it really would be the cheapest way to acquire said new car seats so I'm working on that. With the snow coming, Oliver has snow pants but completely inefficient gloves so I'm guessing he won't be out there long, but I'm not really looking forward to it either way because it starts the messy roads, potential for slipping, need to defrost the car time of year that really only makes a mom's life that much harder! We also are hemorrhaging cold air from every single place that opens and shuts in this house. I was rather proud of myself for my solution to the front door issue! Nate is right, the whole darn thing needs to be replaced, but that doesn't solve it short term. Enter:
The Seattle blanket.... we didn't intend to spend any more money in the space needle gift shop than a magnet and a golf ball. Very funny. So when it came down to whether we would like a blanket for just $10 for having spent $60... sure why not!!! Yesterday I pinned it up in front of the door and shoved it in the hinges. Best blanket ever. It's still cold by the door, but you can no longer feel unwanted air conditioning coming through it :) Take that, house!
And on a last, more positive note.... I don't usually buy things that neither I nor anyone else I know can use... but at the consignment store yesterday I seriously couldn't resist this one.... you wouldn't be able to either and you know it!
How gorgeous is this little thing?!? No one I know has a girl in 6 months sizes, and I won't know if this baby is a boy or a girl until July (more on that later) but I just had to buy it anyway... and for only $4.50 new with tags, even if my baby isn't a girl someone will have one one day and this will make a perfect baby shower gift when they do, so it had to be mine!
So yes.... vulnerable time for me right now... lot's going on, lot's to figure out, lots to think about, lots of things I should really stop doing but come on taco bell is really good stuff! But in any case, maternity shirts are awesome so bring it on, all of it!
Until next time!
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